Good, but not tame

Psalm 119:28-29

"You are my God, and I will give thanks to you; 

you are my God, I will extol you."

O Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; 

for his steadfast love endures for ever.

NRSV

This is the end of the Psalm for Palm Sunday. When reading this on Wednesday, I was struck by these verses. I'm still stuck on gratitude so I'm sure "I will give thanks to you" is what drew my attention, but "he is good" really stood out. "God is good" has been coming up often in my thoughts and with that phrase I am reminded about this scene from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis: 

“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion." "Ooh" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion"..."Safe?" said Mr Beaver ..."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.”

God is not tame or safe. We tend to think of "good" as nice, comfortable and easy. But God is not always nice, comfortable or easy. The Jesus who cleared the Temple, turning over tables and driving out the money changers was not nice. So what does it mean, "God is good?"

I tried to find some commentary on verse 29, specifically what "for he is good" means. I admit that I didn't spend a lot of time looking, but I couldn't really find anything that answered my question. I found some commentary stating that God is good because He kept His promises and helped the Israelites and King David. But I want to know what the Psalmist meant by the word "good." I don't read Greek or Hebrew and was not able to find an explanation of the original word used and every translation that I found uses the word "good."

As I've been thinking about it I've decided that the phrase "God is love" is more appropriate. You may be wondering how is that so different than "good", but "love" is a messy thing. Love is not always nice, comfortable or easy. Love is beautiful, joyful and painful.

We all know that those we love are the ones who can hurt us the most. Love indicates a relationship, a complicated, messy relationship. Parents must make their children do things they don't want to do, like homework or chores. Parents also get angry, frustrated and hurt by their children. Couples don't always agree and sometimes are even mean to each other. We experience both joy and pain in our relationships, especially with those we love. But the love remains!

Isn't that how it goes with God? We don't always want to be obedient, but it is for our own good, like doing homework is what is best for the child. We feel betrayed, frustrated and impatient with God as we go through times of crises. But the love remains!

Even if life isn't nice, comfortable or easy, God loves us! Our relationship with God is complicated and messy. But the love remains!

God is not tame, but God is love!

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Balancing on One Leg

Balance is critical to our lives. There is a lot of research to support this idea. Balance gives us stability and helps to prevent injuries. It is especially important as we get older to keep us from breaking our hips and enable us to continue walking on our own two feet for longer. There is a plethora of fitness equipment, programs and exercises to help improve our balance.

I received a BOSU (Both Sides Up) trainer for Christmas. One side is flat while the other is a dome. What I didn't realize until I got on this strange contraption is that we use lots of little muscles to maintain our balance. Trying to stand on one leg on the dome puts all sorts of tiny muscles in your feet and knees to work. Try it, even on a flat surface, you can feel all those little muscles struggling to support you on one leg if you wait long enough.

So balance doesn't just rely on our big muscles like our abs and glutes, but all these little unused muscles, which need to be strengthened too. What are the "little muscles" of our spiritual life? Maybe the first question is what are the "big muscles"? I think the "big muscles" are the obvious things: going to church regularly, giving money to charity and serving others. Perhaps the "little muscles" are daily prayer, reading the Bible and looking to be Christ for and see Christ in everyone we meet.

There are certainly times in our lives when we are trying to balance on one leg. If you work in a church that time is during the Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter seasons. If you're a teacher it is the beginning and end of the school year. Every industry/job has its crazy, busy time when it is nearly impossible to have enough time to sleep or eat properly, spend as much time with family and friends as you would like and relax. How do we train all of our muscles so that we can stand on one leg?

Just like balance training prepares us for the time we are thrown off balance and standing on one leg, spiritual training prepares us for those times our life is off balance. What does that mean? Practicing "balanced living" when we can. What does it look like? For each of us it looks different, but if we are balanced we are content, well-rested and able to give to others (time and love). Usually that means we are getting enough sleep, eating properly, spending time with God, spending time with others and ourselves.

What I discovered is that my life was most in balance when I was training for my first marathon. There was a pattern to the training and my life fell into that pattern; each aspect being very important. Of course I had to run a lot, 436 miles over the course of 4 months, but I also had to rest. If I didn't eat enough, I couldn't make it through the runs or days. Well, I could, but no one wanted to be around me. I could be in the Snickers commercials; not sure who would play the hungry me, but she would be nasty! I also needed to cross-train to give my little muscles a chance to work as well as improve my cardiovascular capacity.

Did you know that it is on the rest days that the muscles recover and strengthen? If I didn't rest my muscles they wouldn't have had the chance to grow stronger. Weak legs do not get you to the finish line. The lesson....You get stronger during rest! It bears repeating...YOU GET STRONGER DURING REST!

Looking back it is amazing that during the peak week of my training I ran 40 miles (that's 6-1/2 hours) as well as worked, took care of family commitments, walked the dog, cleaned the house, ate a lot and slept about 7-9 hours every night. I was able to get it all done because I was balanced.

Training for a marathon takes dedication, time and discipline. The only way a person can finish the race, walking or running, on one's own two legs is with lots of training. The training starts slow, with running 15 miles the first week. The time spent cross-training and running increases gradually over 18 weeks. There are weeks that you "step back", in other words run less miles than the previous week to give your body a rest. The ultimate week of training is week 15 which consists of running 40 miles, then so that the body is well-rested the running tapers off.

Perhaps this is how we should look at living our lives for God. Maybe we need to start small, saying a short prayer at the start and end of the day; build up to a more refined spiritual practice like contemplative prayer. We also need to spend a little time helping others, maybe it is helping once a year to hand out Christmas gifts or work in a soup kitchen. That can build into volunteering regularly and then perhaps leading an organization/ministry. We must also take the time for rest, maybe a retreat once a year or weekly bible study. Consider the "cross-training" the time we spend in the world, at work, with friends or in secular organizations. Don't forget the need to "step-back" every once in awhile. That could be taking a vacation or at least a break from a commitment or two.

All aspects are important to a balanced life, of course balance looks different to everyone, so we have to work to find our own balance. But we need to train so that we can stand on one leg when needed.

Gratitude Attitude

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately. It started last week while reading Flunking Sainthood by Jana Riess. Our church is reading it for Lent, along with the Episcopal Diocese of Western New York, and I'm leading the discussion for our church. This means I read each chapter three times to let it sink in and so that I can find something for our discussions.

I couldn't help but think that I'm not living a life of gratitude right now. I'm really an optimist so it's easy for me to find the good in most people and situations, but my general attitude has not been grateful of late. I have no real complaints; I have a wonderful husband, good kids (most of the time), health, plenty of food, shelter, friends, etc. So why am I failing to count my blessings and thank God?

I think we just get used to our circumstances and take so much for granted. I know I'm busy running, working, taking care of family responsibilities. I just go from one thing to the next without taking the time to see the beauty that surrounds me.

Yesterday Cassie, my 12-year old daughter, was playing on the computer when I got home from walking the dog. This frustrated me because she was grounded from the game due to her failure to turn a big assignment in on time earlier in the week. When she got off the computer she remembered she didn't have her oboe which she would need for the concert at the high school that evening. The middle school (she's in 7th grade) is always open until 5 pm, and it was 5:10 pm. With my frustration mounting, we rushed off to see if we could get into the school. The principal was still there and let us in, lucky for Cassie. Then we took a tour of the school because she forgot which classroom she left her oboe in. As I'm getting more exacerbated we find the classroom locked. Of course! There was a member of the custodial staff nearby who graciously let us in so Cassie could get her oboe. As we were leaving I thought to ask if she had everything she needed to do her homework and after an initial "yes" we headed for the door. We were almost out the door when Cassie said, "Oh, I forgot something in my locker." So, we traipse upstairs yet again. All the while I'm thinking, okay we may have just enough time for me to help Nathan, my 14-year old son, with his homework and get dinner before the concert.

As we got in the car to return home, I started to think about giving thanks in all circumstances. So I realized there was much to be thankful for: we got into the building, the very nice custodian let us into the room, Cassie got what she needed to complete her homework and she would be able to participate in the concert. Even though it was not an ideal situation, I was blessed and someone was able to show love, even if she didn't think of it that way.

I realize this was a minor nuisance to deal with compared to the difficulties and crises that others deal with daily, but it was a reminder to me to practice being thankful in all circumstances. If we are thankful in small things, it will be easier to be thankful in big things.

This doesn't mean we thank God for the situation, but for His presence in the situation. I have a friend who is battling Leukemia. She is not thankful for the disease or the way she feels during and just after her chemo sessions. She is thankful however, for her husband, the love and support of her family and friends, the time she is able to spend with her children and the medical team that truly cares for her and that she trusts with her life. I aim to follow her example and find something to be thankful for in every situation.

To help me in this endeavor, I am praying the following prayer daily:

 Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life, and for the mystery of love.

We thank you for the blessings of family and friends, and for the loving care which surrounds us on every side.

We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy and delight us.

We thank you also for those disappointments and failures that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.

Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying, through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.

Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and make him known; and through him, at all times and in all places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.

The (Episcopal) Book of Common Prayer, page 836

Letting Jesus Drive

As I was running this morning, I was thinking about how God has been silent for awhile. I don't mean that I haven't felt His presence or answer to a prayer, but that He hasn't written a post for me. I'm trying to stay out of the way and let the Holy Spirit give me the words to write for this blog, since I don't have much that's worth saying on my own.

This led me to wonder if I have stopped talking long enough to hear the "still, small voice" of God. Probably not, I've been too busy thinking about what I need to do for work and home. Of course, since I work in ministry you would think that I would ask Jesus to partner with me in everything, but I often forget to invite Him in!

The brain makes many leaps and bounds if you let it, so the next thought was a story my friend shared with me about a Christian songwriter, artist and youth minister. He was trying to write a song about a member of his youth group who was diagnosed with cancer. After sitting at the piano for awhile God tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he had a song. The songwriter said "no" and then God asked him if he had a son with cancer and again the songwriter said "no." God said, "Why don't you move over and let me write the song?" I'm sure my recollection isn't completely accurate, but the point still remains that God could use him to write and perform the song if he made room for God.

So I hear God saying, "Move over, Jamie, let me write the blog! While we're at it, let me write the story of your life. I promise it will be a good story, lots of laughter, tears, struggles, pain and joy. But the ending will be happy."

This is easier said then done and led to another thought, or song..."Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. I have a hard time letting go of the wheel; I don't want to lose control and I want to know, decide even, where I'm going. The problem is that I'm bound to get lost and make many wrong turns!

Then I realized that the best races I have run are the ones where I really didn't know where I was going. I had looked at the maps and knew where the hills were, but I hadn't actually drove, walked or run the courses before.

The great thing is that I was on a journey and I didn't know what I would see, but I knew I would make it to the finish line. How did I make it to the finish line? Well, I followed those running ahead of me, followed the cones and signs and listened to the volunteers along the course. There was always someone there to tell me to turn left, water was just ahead or that I was almost there.

This is similar to the journey of faith and life. Many people have come before us and we can learn from their experiences, good and bad. The Bible is the map (vague as it may be at times) that we can refer to along the journey and we have family, friends and communities to help guide us. Sometimes our family and friends run with us, sometimes they tell us to turn left and sometimes they carry us.

Life would be boring if we knew where we were going; we are suppose to enjoy the journey and look forward to the next turn or hill for the the beauty it will bring us. Each step brings us closer to the finish line. And God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit is waiting at the finish line to wrap us in the blanket of eternal love!

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  2 Timothy 4:7