 |
| Source: NASA |
It seems to me that social media is more dangerous for those of us over 30. There are many examples of adults, who should know better that are tweeting or posting something that is inappropriate. They say things that hurt others, make themselves look like fools or things that are just plain stupid. Sorry, I hate the word stupid, but sometimes it is the most accurate word.
There was a recent example from the 78th General Convention in Salt Lake City. The Episcopal Church gathers from all over the United States and around the world every three years at General Convention. Representative from each diocese, both lay and clergy, as well as each bishop, and a group of young people (16-19 years old) called the Official Youth Presence to serve as the legislative body of the Episcopal Church. As you might expect there is a wide range of ideas, philosophies, agendas, etc., but they are all in agreement about Jesus being our Savior.
The tweet in question came from a bishop who was not impressed with the Official Youth Presence when they were introduced and two of the members gave a brief speech. His tweet read, "Never very impressed with the 'official youth presence.' How do they get chosen?" Ouch! The responses were many, immediate and not positive.* Of course there was more to his statement, but you can only say so much in 140 characters. I agree with one person who said that he needs social media training, "not okay to tweet this". I will try to leave my problems with the statement itself out of this, because that is not the point of this post.
Since I have two teens at home, I used this mistake as a teachable moment. My daughter is wiser than many adults on the subject. Which shouldn't be that surprising since she is a digital native. But the realization that a teen has a better understanding of what is not appropriate to tweet or post than an adult who is a leader in the church made me wonder why.
Why do teens "get it", even with their lack of brain development and inherent risk-taking behavior? One reason may be that the adults around them; parents, teachers, and church leaders keep telling them that whatever they put out there will be there forever. I know my daughter's teachers keep telling her and her classmates that they shouldn't post anything they don't want their grandmother to see.
I have to admit I like her advice better. "If you wouldn't be willing to stand up in a room full of your family, friends and a bunch of strangers and say it, don't post it." I may be wrong, but I don't think the bishop would have gone to the microphone and shouted his tweet, exactly as he posted it, as the young people were leaving the platform. We generally have a more sensitive filter if we have to face the person or persons we are speaking unkindly about.
Which leads me to the next advice we should all follow that came from a 30-year old friend. "If you can't defend your statement to the person face to face, you shouldn't post it." Imagine what it would be like if everyone thought a few minutes and asked themselves, "Am I willing to say this directly to the person the next time I see him/her?" Maybe the online world would seem a bit kinder, more loving.
I'm still left with the question, why? Why do adults behave so badly online? I'm sure most of us grew up hearing our mothers say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Yet, we keep doing it; we keep insulting, hurting, and infuriating others. Of course, young people do this too, but those who do would usually do it regardless of the platform.
I think the key is that the teens are digital natives, they live in the online world and understand its culture, language, beauty and dangers. We call them digital natives, but we fail to recognize that means that it is a place with people and customs. If you don't know the culture of a place but find yourself visiting or living there, you realize you must learn about the place and its people. You will never be a native, but you can learn the language, understand the customs and traditions, and even participate in the community around you.
The first lesson a digital native would teach us is that there are not two worlds: virtual and real. It is all real! We may not be fluent in the language or customs, but it doesn't make it any less real than China is to me. I speak no Chinese and know little about the country, its history, or customs, but China is a real place with real people. On the other end of the Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or any other social media feed is a real person, with real feelings.
For my daughter, her online (internet) friends are just as important as her offline (outer-net) friends; they are just another group of friends. The biggest difference is that she can't hug an internet friend when he/she is sad. This is really no different than adults who have friends at work, church, the neighborhood, the other parents from their children's activities, etc. Yes, some overlap, but generally speaking we see them in the context of that community of work, church, neighborhood, etc.
The second lesson is that posting on social media is like standing in a roomful of people, both known and unknown, and shouting that statement in a monotone voice. Are you willing to take that post and shout it at a football stadium during the game? Also, that statement will be out there forever! Even if you "take it down" it is impossible to remove all traces of it.
As a Christian, I am called to love God and my neighbor. My neighbor is everyone, no exceptions, no excuses. In order to show Christ's love to my neighbor I must speak kindly, listen carefully and forgive completely, online and offline, no exceptions!
*End note: The bishop met with many or all of the youth at the convention and had a wonderful reconciliation meal according to posts from all in attendance. The bishop clearly regretted is tweet for the pain it caused. I do believe that he learned a valuable lesson the hard way. Let us learn from this situation too!
